


Gone, But Not Forgotten

by LuckyBanana



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Explicit Language, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Love, Pining, Protective Bucky Barnes, Romance, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:54:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22382173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyBanana/pseuds/LuckyBanana
Summary: I was badly hurt, my skin torn open, bleeding into the snow. I was as good as dead.But then he saved me.He says he knows me, but I can't remember anything. And now my life is in his hands.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58





	Gone, But Not Forgotten

"Oh, God no. Please. Fuck…"

The words sounded so far away, I wasn't sure if I was dreaming. And a name… the voice kept saying a name… was it mine? I don't remember…

"Come back to me sweetheart, please…" 

Something very cold touched my lips. I didn't realize how thirsty I was. The coolness was followed by warmth, pressed softly to my cracked lips. It was gone too soon, and I felt myself craving that warmth more than water. 

My body started to float, and I thought that salvation had finally come. But then the pain followed. No, I wasn't floating, I was being carried. Paradise wouldn't hurt so much. 

I could almost forgive the pain in my right leg, it was like a cool breeze compared to the searing pain in my gut. The movement of my body made me want to throw up, but I'm pretty sure everything in my stomach was oozing out of me already.

I have no way of knowing how much time passed, but eventually we reached our destination. I still had trouble seeing, so I only became aware that we'd reached some kind of shelter when I was suddenly very warm. 

I was placed onto a soft surface, but it didn't help. The warmth hurt so much more than the cold. The numbness in my limbs melted away, leaving behind only raw agony. 

I felt a kind of tugging, the cold wet clothes around my torso were being cut away. I tried to scream, but it came out more like a low groan. 

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I'll make it quick, okay?"

That voice was so familiar. I didn't know who he was, but I knew that I didn't want to upset him. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out again. 

I felt a prick and a warm, metallic sensation spread through my veins. The pain wasn't gone, I knew it was still there, but I didn't mind so much anymore. At least now I could sleep… 

*

I fought to open my eyes. It felt like a lead weight was keeping them closed. Finally, a sliver of light penetrated my heavy lids. The inside of the room swam like a dream. Low light, a sparse bedroom, and a man sitting close…

"Don't try to sit up," he spoke softly, he was closer to me now. "You don't want to pop a stitch."

I looked down at my exposed belly. A jagged line of sutures ran across the length of my stomach, almost to my back. 

"Where am I? Who are you?" I managed. 

"Bucky," he said.

"What the hell is Bucky?"

"I the hell am Bucky."

"What?" Tears ran down my face, more from frustration than anything. "Tell me where I am."

"Shh… it's okay. Calm down," he said, taking my shaking hand in his and squeezing it tight. "You were very badly hurt, but you're safe now." His brow furrowed, he looked like he didn't believe his own words. 

I managed to wiggle my way up to a sort of sitting position so I could get a better look at my companion. He had long brown hair, messy and tangled with sweat, a good three day beard on his dimpled chin, and his eyes were a pale grey blue. They were so deeply shadowed that he looked on the verge of tears. To me, he looked like an angel. I knew at once that he wasn't there to hurt me. 

"Bucky?" I said. 

"Yeah, doll, it's me."

"That is a really weird name, is it short for something?" 

Bucky's face fell. "Tell me what you can remember."

I looked around the room, confused. "I remember it's 2020. I remember who the president is," I winced. "Other than that…" I shook my head. I knew if I kept talking, I would never stop crying. 

"Shh.. doll, it's okay. You had a really bad fall and hit your head," Bucky explained, "And you seem to be running a low grade fever, just try and sleep for now…"

I flinched when he placed his cool hand on my hot forehead. "What the hell is that?" I cried, trying to pull away. But the movement pulled on my stitches and I yelped in pain. 

Bucky quickly withdrew his hand and backed away from me. "I'm sorry… I…" he shook his head. "You don't remember… it's just a prosthetic." 

"Metal?" 

"Yes," Bucky said. 

I started to calm down. He was missing a hand. He wasn't a monster. I felt foolish. "Are you an Avenger?" I asked. "Only Tony Stark makes tech like that." 

Bucky's eyes lit up. "You remember the Avengers?"

"Yeah, they're like superheros right? I didn't just dream that?"

Bucky smiled softly, "No, you didn't dream it." He seemed reluctant to come close to me again after my knee jerk reaction. 

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean…" I was sure I'd offended him. "Umm… can I see it?" I gestured to his arm. 

Bucky let out a harsh breath, disrupting the hair in his forehead. 

"I mean… you don't have to…" I said, embarrassed. 

"No, it's okay really," Bucky said. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he pulled his heavy black sweater up over his head. Underneath, he wore only a tank top, and I tried to hide my shock when I saw that the prosthetic reached all the way up to his shoulder. 

Feeling bold, I reached out and ran my hand against the cool metal. This time it was Bucky who flinched. 

"I'm sorry," I said, pulling my hand away. "Does that hurt?"

Bucky let out a sardonic chuckle. "No, it doesn't hurt. I can't really… feel anything." 

"What happened to you?" I said softly. Somehow I knew the prosthetic was the result of something terrible. I could see it in his grey blue eyes. 

"It's a long story," he said. 

"I got time."

"Some other time," he said, then he pulled his sweater back on. But not before I absorbed the full effect of his half naked torso. Damn, Bucky was built. 

I felt the blood rush to my face, and it had nothing to do with the fever. 

"How are you feeling?" he asked. 

"Like my guts are trying to escape my body," I said, wincing down at the jagged line of stitches. 

This time he put his warm, flesh hand on my forehead. "You're still really warm, you need to rest. But first, I'd like to bandage you up. Do you think you can lean forward?" 

I pulled myself up with all the strength I had left, barely breathing as I tried to hide how profound the pain was.

"Good girl, that's it," Bucky said, helping me sit up. The shirt that was covering the upper half of my torso slid down over the wound. "I'm sorry sweetheart, but this has to go," Bucky said, gently   
sliding the garment over my head. 

I shivered as my skin was exposed. A blanket thankfully covered my legs, but all I had on was my white bra, stained dark with blood. Bucky quickly got to work, wrapping the fresh bandage around my stomach. He worked quickly and carefully, but it still pulled painfully at my wound. I tried to keep my face calm, but I wasn't doing a very good job. 

"It will be over soon," he promised. "Talk to me, sweetheart. Tell me what you remember about the Avengers." He was trying to distract me. Luckily, it worked. 

"Well, I remember… Ironman," I said, trying to keep my breath steady. "Kind of charming, kind of a prick."

Bucky chuckled. "You got that right. What else?" 

"The blonde one… impossibility good looking… ughh... Thor." 

"Yes, you're doing so good, hon," Bucky said. "Go on."

"The big green guy… oof!" 

"I'm sorry," Bucky said, fastening the bandage around my middle. "You okay?"

I nodded, barely enough energy left to move my head. I felt terrible. "Can I have a clean shirt? I need to get this thing off…. Ah fuck!" I tried to reach around my back to undo my bra, but only managed to pull at my stitches. 

"Jesus, be careful doll, let me help you," Bucky said, softly.

His hand barely grazed my back when he reached behind me to unhook my bra, but everywhere our skin met felt electrified. He was so close, I could feel his breath on my neck. He kept his eyes trained on the wall behind me as he helped me into a clean t-shirt, 

"You're real old fashioned, aren't you?" I carefully lay back down on my pillow, and was finally able to take a deep breath.

Bucky chuckled. "You could say that." He looked into my eyes and I knew that he was searching for any sign of recognition. But when none came, he turned away and started packing up the medical supplies. "His name is Bruce," Bucky said. 

"Who's?" I'd completely forgotten what we were talking about. 

"The big green guy. The Hulk. You guys are friends."

I shook my head. "I don't remember him, not really. I don't remember anything. God, I'm so confused." I put my head in my hands. 

I felt the bed dip under Bucky's weight. Just having him close to me again made me feel slightly better. I sniffed and uncovered my face. 

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're sick and you're hurt. You need to heal. Your memory will come back to you, I promise."

"But what if it doesn't?" I pouted. 

"It will."

"Bucky…" 

"Yeah doll?"

"Are we friends?"

He paused a moment, as if he didn't know how to answer that. "Yeah, we're friends," he said, finally. 

"Good," I managed a small smile. 

Bucky smiled back and pulled my blankets up to my chin. 

"It's so hot…" I felt myself fading. 

"I know, but we have to break that fever of yours. You'll have to sweat it out."

I nodded and tried to make myself as comfortable as possible, but every little movement stung. 

"I can give you some more pain meds," Bucky offered. 

"No, please," I said. "It only makes my mind foggier. I'll be okay. I can take it." 

Bucky furrowed his brow, but finally relented. "Okay, but don't be a hero. Let me know if it hurts too bad. Now get some sleep." He turned to leave. 

"Wait… Bucky…" 

"Yeah doll?" 

"What's my name?"

Bucky stared at me, his mouth falling open slightly. His eyes swam with tears when he told me my name. 

I repeated it back, tasting the name on my lips, trying it out. It didn't sound like my name. It sounded like a stranger. Then I was crying too. "I don't know her…" I said softly. "I don't know where she is…"

Bucky took a step towards me and put his hand in mine. "Then we'll find her together," he said.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you're enjoying the story so far. Do you have any requests for this fic? Should I make it smutty? Romantic? I have lots of ideas, but I would love to hear your thoughts. ❤️


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